I grew up spending every summer in Riondel, British Columbia – close to Nelson off the Kootenay Lake. It is secluded, and I remember feeling anxious while staring up at the huge night sky – and feeling as though I was so small and meaningless in the big picture of it all. As I grew, and explored spirituality and holistic living, this summer escape became my sanctuary. A place to re-discover myself time and time again through gazing at the shooting stars, and knowing that I am one with the cosmos.
A few years ago I discovered that right at my footsteps, on a road I had travelled a million times before, was Yasodhara Ashram. A spiritual community that honors the divine feminine and celebrates all high vibrational worldly traditions. My first time visiting the Ashram, I entered their bookstore which is truly magic. It contains every book I could ever desire to read, malas, handmade scarfs and bags from India, just the most beautiful treasures. On one of the shelfs in the very back corner, a small green book with no text on the spine caught my eye. I don’t know why, but I bought it and it turned out to be Gita Sandesh which is Swami Ramdas’ commentary on the Bhagavad Gita. I read most of it, but was early in my spiritual journey and wasn’t ready to receive the full vibration of the meaning.
Insert the gift of 2020 where the world was presented with an opportunity to slow down. I gratefully accepted the offering and really began to embody a more true form of myself through spiritual practice, study, and the blessing of profound teachers entering my life. With this growing perspective, I am revisiting Gita Sandesh, and as a practice of reflection I will be sharing my journal in this blog. I would love for anyone in our community to join me in a study of this book – or any view on the Bhagavad Gita, or any other spiritual scripture.
The first chapter is about Moha, which is described as “attachment arising from the individual sense of “I” in relation to the body and therefrom to the bodies of those near and dear to him by the ties of blood or friendship or material obligations.” I see Moha as my pre-2020 experience. Although I idealized sovereignty, truly removing myself from the system, living off the earth – it was only a thought form as I continued to participate in the materialism of the world. I know our thoughts create our reality, and sometimes I wonder if I manifested 2020 to ripen the conditions for my idealistic life? Or were enough of of us desiring a change, that it triggered this energetic turning point in humanity? I believe it is all in the realm of possibility.
“He feels he is imprisoned within the fortressed walls raised all round him by his ego, and although he knows that his freedom lies in breaking down these walls, his attempts at such a task prove futile as he is conscious that Moha (his attachment) as enfeebled him and made him unequal to it.”
I didn’t realized how attached I was to the outer world, until it began to crumble. I continue to grieve the materialistic experience I once enjoyed, although I now see the grief as healing the wounds of attachment – or Moha. As much as my heart knew that the sensory experience of the world was keeping my ego intact, and I always joked that one day I would give everything away and move to the ashram, that “one day” was very unlikely to ever come. Well the universe gives you the gifts your soul most desires, and here we are, experiencing ego death on a collective scale.
I was reading today about some Countries in the world initiating their Vaccine Passport where those who accept the experimental biological agent will be able to move freely, go to restaurants, travel, attend concerts. That leaves the rest of us to an experience of being unable to participate in these sensory experiences, entertain the materialism of the world, be condemned to a return to a smaller, more simple existence. I truly believe that everything is divine, and as difficult as something may seem at the moment – there is always a gift in the wound (the message of the planet Chiron). I wonder if the gift to us spiritual seekers is the option, the opportunity, to have to make a choice to accept an injection to continue to live in the material world – or to say no and discover a life without. An optional renunciation. It’s kind of perfect.
Now I am, will, and always will advocate for human rights and freedoms. I, in no way, support the vaccine passport nor any of the intrusion of government into our freedom of movement, expression, or health. However, in seeking acceptance of the current experience, I am inspired to find the gift in the wound, and wonder if this could truly be the greatest of spiritual blessings. I’m willing to play in those energies, and see what comes of it, as at this time we truly have everything superficial, and nothing high vibrational, to lose.
Sending love and light to you all, I would love to hear your experiences in this journey!